He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
