I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
