Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
