You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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