you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Are my feet made of real feet?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
