the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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