His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
