Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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