I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she told me i tasted like america
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
