I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
These tits shall not be calmed
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
