I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize