U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
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Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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