OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
