My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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