Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
