why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize