I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
