If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
