Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
