I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
