I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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