I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
