So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
