Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
