where does the pee come out of this thing
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
