Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
