I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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