So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
