Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
can u get pink eye on your cock?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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