Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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