Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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