Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
