Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
