So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
