What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
