party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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