he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
