Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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