yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
