You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
