Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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