you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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