is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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