Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
