Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize