come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
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I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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