how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
