I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize