I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
