butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
