i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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