I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
