Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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