We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
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The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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