you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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