I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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