the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
