Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize