Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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