I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
