Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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