Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
