i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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