Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
