So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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