yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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