I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
