The maid of honor just puked.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
