I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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