Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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