let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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