Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
