Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
